She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
