The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I see more hoeing in ur future
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
