the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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