3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize