just tell him i said nine months
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
