Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
