Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
