I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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