I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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