Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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