Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
