It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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