Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
