Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
