I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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