hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
