whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I've blown a few things in my day
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
