Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
