Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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