i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
