Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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