The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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