what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So much rum. So many feels.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
