At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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