you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
