For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
