I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
