...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
