escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
