How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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