PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize