; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
