Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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