Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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