Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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