Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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