oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize