Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
