Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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