Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
