If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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