i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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