i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
