Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
