I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
