You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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