I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
