It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's blow job season.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
