just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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