life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
