I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
nutella sex= disaster
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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