Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
