Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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