I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
