that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
