We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
