I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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