WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just pee around me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
